It Must Be My Time Of The Month – Bike Snob NYC

When the hell was somebody gonna inform me it’s “Biketober?”

It’s unhealthy sufficient no one informed me that the Rev-X was again.

I significantly like how the information man lets his private biases slip in, and that he’s clearly incensed by all of the riders who aren’t utilizing helmets and lights and are subsequently accountable for their very own deaths.

I imply everyone knows the explanation bike deaths are up is due to e-bikes:

Or am I?

Both manner, I went to the DOT web site to be taught extra about this complete “Biket Ober” factor, which appears like a Jewish vacation:

You recognize, there’s nothing extra annoying than individuals who remind you they’re taxpayers, however I’M A TAXPAYER, DAMN IT! And whereas most of my fellow taxpayers-who-gratuitously-remind-you-that-they’re-taxpayers are complaining about how they’re spending all our cash on illegals or gender reassignment surgical procedure for toddlers or educating Crucial Race Idea to pets or no matter, what I’d actually wish to know is how a lot cash we’ve thrown away to date by gifting away 300,000 freaking bicycle helmets. No matter what you could consider bike helmets, what sort of sign does that ship? Does this sound like a metropolis that’s assured within the security of its its bicycling infrastructure? I’m positive I’m repeating myself, however that’s like a restaurant that arms out barf luggage.

Whereas I’m at it, I’d additionally wish to query the “Supply Employee Outreach”–nothing by any means in opposition to supply staff, or reaching out to them, however ought to it actually be a part of Biket Ober? It looks like this must be a stand-alone factor, since “bicycle” supply has developed into one thing that now not bears a lot resemblance to common bicycling; in truth, a lot of supply individuals aren’t even using bicycles in any respect, they’re using gas-powered motor scooters. So why not simply give them their very own month already? I just like the sound of “Deliveryvember,” it rolls off the tongue like a supply bike off the curb.

After all, there was as soon as a time when bicycle supply conjured up pictures of city outlaws on racing bikes carving by means of visitors:

Now it seems extra like this:

And as an alternative of sporting a series round your waist and thumbing your nostril on the company world you’re working for the enterprise capitalists and wrestling along with your key fob:

However that’s not stopping individuals from paying homage to the romantic picture of the now-extinct bicycle messenger:

And fascinating in competitors that has nothing to do with delivering something, like pulling off actually lengthy skids:

[Like what does skidding have to do with delivering stuff? Is it what you do when you realize you just overshot the address?]

Or modeling their hairstyles:

Satirically, the picture of the bike courier has seems nothing like “bicycle” supply in 2024, however bike courier style and workplace style have completely converged to the purpose the place they’re now indistinguishable, and if you happen to see somebody who seems like a motorcycle courier at this time there’s a 99% probability they’re on their option to their job in an previous warehouse district that’s been remodeled right into a tech hub:

[Outlaw office bro working on his TPS reports]

Then once more, using to work as an alternative of for work doesn’t appear to be using a bicycle anymore, both:

I suppose that is what getting previous seems like.