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Too Many Bikes – Bike Snob NYC

June 13, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 15 mins read
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Are the mountain bikers lastly gone? Can we speak about them once more? Nice.

I’ve been driving–and even racing–mountain bikes on trails for many years now, and but for some cause when mountain bikers come on my weblog they bro-splain to me that I’m not a mountain biker. That is odd, particularly when you think about that I’ve additionally been driving–and even racing–street bikes for many years now, and making glib and sarcastic statements about different individuals who do too, similar to I do about mountain bikers, and but no one has ever come on right here and accused me of not being a roadie. This alone would appear to be proof that for all of the accusations of snobbery which were heaped upon them over time, so-called “roadies” are merely higher folks. Ergo ispo facto any air of superiority a roadie might exude is subsequently completely justified.

Anyway, other than the web comportment of its practitioners, essentially the most annoying factor about mountain biking is the bikes. Not solely are they foolish and bouncy, however there are just too a lot of them:

Pathetic. They don’t even have downcountry on there! And if you happen to’re questioning what a “downcountry” bike is, the reply is that I don’t know and I don’t care.

I’ll concede that the mountain bikers do have some extent, since if having the ability to parse the ten various kinds of mountain bikes (not together with downcountry bikes) is what makes you a mountain biker than I’m positively not a mountain biker. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THESE DIFFERENT TYPES OF MOUNTAIN BIKES. On occasion on the Desert Hipster web site they get some man on there who writes 6,000 phrases on some Craftmatic adjustable mattress on wheels and the way it’s subtly completely different from another Craftmatic adjustable mattress on wheels that belongs in a completely completely different class as a result of it has 10mm much less journey, and by the third sentence my eyes glaze over and I begin studying one thing extra participating as a substitute, like Ikea directions. Give me a easy bike that works on trails and can also be good for driving to the paths and that’s all of the mountain bike I actually need or want. (Although I’m not above throwing a 30 year-old twin suspension bike in THE CAR THAT I OWN every now and then.)

I suppose that is why I rode singlespeed mountain bikes just about completely for a few years. (Despite the fact that they’re admittedly horrible for the “driving to the paths” half.) There was a time once I did make a token effort to concentrate to these items, however then I began driving a singlespeed and I checked out utterly. Nevertheless, as I grinded away on my singlespeed, I used to be vaguely conscious that the kind of mountain bike I had been driving was more and more considered as type of a specialty machine, or an “XC bike,” to differentiate it from the more and more motocross-like bikes that have been coming into vogue with the drive-to-the-ride set, like freeride bikes. (No matter occurred to these, anyway? I assume they simply broke that up into like sixteen new classes?) Certainly, after awhile it appeared just like the XC bike had gone so deeply out of vogue that you simply solely noticed them in UCI races–although now they’re coming again, at the very least in line with one publication:

Additional to yesterday’s discourse on normality, I suppose we now have to elucidate what regular, non-watermelon-humping mountain biking is:

Cross-country mountain biking locations a better emphasis on pace and distance, fairly than steep and technical descents. Many XC programs and trails function undulating terrain, a mixture of technical climbs and descents, steep corners, and flatter sections that require cardiovascular health and endurance. In contrast to downhill mountain biking, which is primarily characterised by jumps, steep sections, rock and root gardens, and different options that require extra complicated technical descending talents, XC combines a various vary of path options and situations.

However in fact they solely like XC bikes as a result of they’re changing into extra like watermelon-humping bikes:

As cross-country programs develop into extra aggressive, World Cup execs go for 4-piston brakes, 2.4” tires, and full-sized dropper posts. This development within the sport calls for extra from the bikes and parts. Resulting from this demand, XC is slowly changing into extra aligned with path driving, and I believe it’s implausible.

So if you’d like what an XC bike was (which was primarily a traditional mountain bike for regular mountain biking) it’s a must to get a gravel bike pricey god simply kill me now:

See, it’s a must to go “farther and sooner” on unpaved surfaces, proper? What was completely enough only a few years in the past is now thought-about “underbiking.” (DEAR LOB I HATE THAT TERM.) Meaning on the very least you want twin suspension.

Possibly subsequent they need to put flat bars on it for higher management on technical terrain, then they’ll actually be onto one thing. The may name it a “mountain bike.” And the cycle shall start anew. It’s the large bang and the large crunch, over and again and again.

Not that street bikes are any completely different nowadays. We’ve obtained at the very least 4 completely different varieties:

Sorry, make that six:

Wait, sorry, it’s eight:

You recognize, you can simply knock out all these classes with simply three bikes:

And even that’s being beneficiant.

Is it any shock I discover myself wanting wistfully into the previous? Once I was on the Marin Museum of Bicycling lately, Grant Petersen loaded me up with some classic periodicals:

Nowadays it appears you’re beset by watermelon-humpers from all sides, so it’s refreshing to move your self to a time when bunnyhopping was thought-about “superior approach,” advertisements touted “peace within the wilds” and “the supreme satisfaction of self achievement” as a substitute of motors, and debates raged over toe clips vs. bear traps, or right-front vs. left-front braking:

Once I did the cylocrossing I used to set my bikes up with right-front braking, however not for any of the explanations beneath:

Somewhat, I did so as a result of I used to be instructed by somebody very smart that if you dismount the bike from the left, if it’s essential to modulate your pace you naturally accomplish that with the left-hand brake lever, and also you don’t need that activating the entrance brake as a result of if you happen to try this and the bike’s unweighted it’s straightforward for the rear wheel to pop up.

I used to be by no means practically aggressive sufficient for this to show obligatory in observe (if you’ve already been lapped does it actually matter?), however I set my bikes up that manner anyway as a result of that’s the way you have been alleged to do it, and the profit is that right now I actually don’t have a lot bother switching between bikes with right-front braking and left-front braking as a result of they each appear pretty regular to me.

I may additionally bunny-hop respectably in my BMX days, too–although I doubt I may have cleared a sawhorse.

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