Glad Independence Day Gross sales Occasion Weekend, everyone!

I’ll quickly depart you to pedal off into a blinding pyrotechnic show of each freedom and financial savings, however earlier than I do I’m happy to announce that I’ve determined to purchase a bicycle firm:

I imply why the hell not, proper?
Since 2008, Alchemy has been producing premium, distinctive, and lust-worthy mountain, highway, and gravel bikes. With present fashions, together with the versatile Arktos path bike platform and the Lycos gravel bike, and older fashions just like the Ronin gravel and Helios highway bike, the model has been crafting stunning frames in each carbon and titanium for years.
Pending acceptance of my $1,500 provide, I’ve already reviewed their lineup, and I’ll be axing this bike:

And this bike:

For that matter, I’ll be axing all their bikes, since there are a couple of gazillion corporations additionally providing almost similar iterations of the whole lot they promote As a substitute, I’ll provide one mannequin and one mannequin solely, that being a traditional metal highway bike. Have you learnt it’s almost unimaginable to get a traditional metal highway bike with rim brakes these days? (Effectively, a brand new one, anyway.) For instance, Surly used to supply the Pacer:

Have you learnt what they provide now? This:

Look, you realize me. You recognize I’m not fussy in relation to aesthetics. You recognize I’m kind of a dirtbag who doesn’t clear his bikes and tolerates all kinds of mismatched components. However candy fancy Moishe that headtube/fork combo is against the law in opposition to humanity:

Like significantly, no person must be allowed to promote one thing that ugly.
Then once more I in all probability don’t even have to trouble with the traditional metal highway bike as a result of the one you continue to should buy doesn’t actually depart any room for enchancment:

Although a hen did handle to defile its beautiful lugwork:

I don’t know the way it managed to hit the seat lug of all locations, however I’m going to go forward and contemplate it an indication of fine luck.
Have an awesome vacation weekend, trip protected, and will your individual good omens manifest themselves in a extra sanitary trend.
–Tan Tenovo
