Yep, nonetheless no winner to announce within the BIKE SNOB GRAVEL SPIRIT GRAVEL DUMONDE LUBE GRAVEL GRAVEL GRAVEL search engine optimization CONTEST as a result of I’m nonetheless too far too engrossed within the entries, which embody a play in a single act, that includes a pleasant forged of characters equivalent to this one:
I could have to provide this, as a result of it might be one of the best piece of bicycle-themed theater for the reason that Belle of the Ball Bearings:
Then there’s a haiku and a limerick from Andrew in Helena, Montana, a spot which appears like it could be very gravelly–and dusty:
Mud in each crack,Grit settles within the scranus,Trip now, remorse quickly.
…
There as soon as was a spirit known as Scranus,Who lurks within the mud simply behind us.Don’t trip gravel too far,Simply to the subsequent bar,Or he’ll sandblast your shorts and your anus.
I’ll take this chance to announce that Dustin Everycrack is my new Gravel Porn Title.
Oh, and right here’s one other submission, which seems to depict Dustin Everycrack together with his girlfriend, Sandy Beaver:
Certain, it’s clearly AI, however I by no means banned AI from the competition now, did I?
Sadly round these elements Previous Man Winter continues to sit down on the Spirit of Gravel’s face and smother it together with his Snowy Taint of Despair:
Nonetheless, it seems like temperatures will quickly improve, which suggests all this snow goes to lastly begin melting–which in flip means the roads will likely be actually moist and disgusting, and I’ll spare you going any additional with the taintal metaphor, other than suggesting that the streets are going to be like Assos Man’s chamois that morning he did intervals with a hangover:
Because of this, a single Devoted Fender Bike goes to be inadequate, and so I’ve taken the extra step of re-fendering the Milwaukee:
Notice that I’ve retained the WFL (Wonky Fender Line) it wore proudly earlier than its makeover:
For those who look nearer you may see the buboes that necessitated mentioned makeover, prompted little doubt by my poisonous sweat:
I assumed briefly of correcting the fender line, however of the various bicycle upkeep duties that appear like they’ll take a couple of minutes however wind up taking a number of hours, fender set up is the top. On this case I used to be putting in the exact same fenders that had been on the exact same bike, and but even that took for much longer than I anticipated, and the extra time it took the much less inclined I used to be to futz with the size of the stays on prime of every little thing else, finally reaching the inevitable conclusion, that being to say, “Fuck it, adequate.”
At this level I ought to study my lesson and hold the fenders on there till 2035 after I paint the bike once more. Hey, perhaps they’ll paint round them…
Talking of the Milwaukee, along with refinishing it in purple (I consider the precise identify of the colour is Flaming Intercourse Copper or one thing like that), final 12 months I additionally handled it to a model new R7000 drivetrain, which was the final time Shimano supplied rim brakes on the 105 degree or above. It was clear to anyone paying consideration that the tip of rim brakes on the 105 degree was a nasty signal…apart from the Wankerati, in fact, who’re solely now whining concerning the state of the fashionable highway bike drivetrain:
He doesn’t need Cues (sorry, CUES), and he doesn’t need the most recent 105. He needs…older 105, just like the stuff on the Milwaukee, solely the silver model:
What I’d actually like to see, nonetheless, is a return to easy, polished steel for all of the parts, one thing like the gorgeous silver choice on the R7000 Shimano 105 from 2018 – and even the limited-edition polished GRX from a number of years in the past.
Oh, Warren. Warren, Warren, Warren. You understand why it’s this manner? Due to PEOPLE LIKE YOU:
It’s YOUR FAULT, Warren. You and all of your Wankerati cohorts within the biking media. YOU PEOPLE wouldn’t settle for rim brakes anymore, and also you instructed us we shouldn’t both. It’s due to YOU PEOPLE all of the excessive finish stuff went disc, and digital. See, rim brakes have been the one factor conserving bicycle elements trustworthy. However they weren’t adequate for the likes of YOU, have been they, Warren and pals? So now they’re gone, and so is the fashionable, reasonably priced rim brake drivetrain. It’s gone as a result of YOU KILLED IT, Warren, and it’s by no means coming again. I hope you’re happy with your self.
And nonetheless these individuals don’t study. Even Shimano isn’t utterly ruthless, in order that they got here up with this complete CUES factor–low-cost, mechanical, good for cheap highway bikes…however not adequate for Warren. As a result of it’s too “chunky,” although Shimano hasn’t made a non-chunky bike half since like 2012:
Don’t get me fallacious, I like CUES. I’ve tried it on flat-bar bikes and been impressed. It’s additionally the drivetrain I’ve chosen for my mountain bike to gravel bike conversion.
Nonetheless, it’s not fairly proper for mid-range efficiency highway bikes. Its design is derived from Shimano’s GRX gravel groupset and mountain bikes. CUES has a extra sturdy look, which is nice for gravel and concrete bikes, however too chunky and clunky for a lithe-looking highway bike.
Proper. I’m trying ahead to the “It’s Time We Dropped Mechanical Shifting Altogether” piece later this 12 months, adopted by “Mind Implanted Shifting Is Coming, However The place Have All The Chunky Reasonably priced Mechanical Street Bike Groupsets Gone?” in 2030.
