They are saying magnificence is within the eye of the beholder, however generally the beholder additionally has cataracts, which is the one method anyone may probably take a look at this factor and like what they see:
He needs he hadn’t seemed on the worth, however I want I hadn’t seemed on the bike, as a result of expensive Lob that factor is atrocious:
Lug?
Lug!?!
That is what a lug ought to seem like:
The issues holding that Bastion collectively seem like one thing you’d use to prepare dinner fish on the barbecue:
Who the hell designed that factor, David Cronenberg?
However hey, you may’t put a worth on exclusivity.
Wait, really you may, and it’s $27,000 Australian Quasi-{Dollars}™:
Bastion’s yearly output is proscribed to solely 100 bikes, with every mentioned to be individually engineered for the shopper.
Which means the Panterra isn’t solely very unique, it’s additionally going to be very elusive as every bike comes with a seven-month lead time.
Pricing for the Panterra begins from AUD $27,000 – or roughly £14,300 / $18,594 (plus transport/native taxes).
This looks as if a very dangerous enterprise mannequin, as a result of anyone paying that a lot cash for a motorbike that ugly will demand the very newest know-how, but seven months is an eternity in Gravel Years, and on the present fee of “progress” each single factor concerning the Bastion can be out of date earlier than you even take supply.
In the meantime, keep in mind the girl who was going to circumnavigate the globe by way of bicycle, though you completely can’t circumnavigate the globe by way of bicycle?
Effectively, she’s already bailed, and apparently you may blame local weather change:
Actually between the local weather change and fairness your entire sport of biking could also be doomed:
The spectre of local weather change and rising temperatures has haunted biking – a sport performed out within the nice outside – lately, with races more and more prone to excessive climate circumstances
After all the Local weather Apocalypse is already gone its due date:
However do not forget that the Tour de France has solely lasted this lengthy as a result of they’ve gotten luckly:
In a brand new paper, revealed right now in Scientific Experiences, the researchers checked out the way forward for European outside summer time sporting occasions by way of the lens of the previous half century of the Tour de France, the country-crossing bike race appearing as a near-perfect case research for the affect of local weather change and excessive heatwaves on summer time sport.
Trying on the evaluation, the research suggests the Tour has been, to date, really fairly lucky to keep away from the historic July days that includes the best warmth. That is, in fact, right down to likelihood and ASO can not hope to proceed to be fortunate sufficient to keep away from excessive heatwaves and probably the most harmful circumstances.
Oh, please. They’ve been placing on this ridiculous race since 1903, they’ve principally received a small metropolis following them, and so they see extra docs throughout a single stage than most individuals go to of their total lifetimes. They’ll be simply effective.
I imply certain, it’s already scorching over there:
Actually it’s the most popular spring since they began conserving observe in 1900:
France skilled its hottest spring “since data started in 1900,” marked by a scorching early heatwave on the finish of Could, the nation’s climate service mentioned on Tuesday, June 2. “With a mean temperature of 13.8ºC, this spring of 2026 is the warmest ever recorded,” Météo France mentioned in a briefing word overlaying the months of March by way of Could. The season broke earlier spring data set in 2011 and 2020, the climate service added.
However when you suppose that sounds dangerous simply take a look at what issues had been like in 1900:
If the acute warmth didn’t get you then the rabies definitely would:
So principally, when you had been trying to circumnavigate the globe by bicycle in 1900, you’d should abandon in France as a result of the air was too thick with soot from the cat crematoriums:
Rabies can also be extending itself to the 1000’s of roughly wild cats which infest the fortifications and the nice cemeteries of Paris. To exterminate this pest some energetic measures have lately been taken. At Père La Chaise traps are set each night time, and lots of cats are discovered caught in them the next morning by the cemetery guardians as they make their rounds. Poor pussy’s destiny is then moderately a merciless one. A cat has 9 lives, and a cemetery guardian’s time is proscribed. So to settle the matter outright the guardian throws pussy nonetheless alive into the crematorium, the place the warmth is intense sufficient to get the higher of probably the most tenacious existence fairly rapidly. After all this observe has referred to as forth violent denunciations from the lovers of animals, and I’ve no want to defend it. I solely belief that sentiment might not go too far, and that the plague of mad cats and mad canine from which we at the moment are struggling might quickly be ended.
But solely three years later they kicked off this entire Tour de France factor, and the very first stage was 467 kilometers lengthy:
The roads sucked, the bikes sucked, and it was scorching as balls, however a minimum of it beat sweeping chimneys:
So principally when you had been fortunate sufficient to outlive the warmth and the rabies then possibly you could possibly get a job sweeping out the chimney on the cat crematorium after which spend the summer time driving a fixed-gear bicycle across the total nation of France, win, and use the prize cash to purchase a fuel station. (I consider that’s what he ended up doing.)
That’s to not say I don’t fear concerning the future, however right now we’re higher off in just about each method, and the one factor that really terrifies me about tomorrow is the bikes:
First it was the AI highway bike, now it’s the double decker 32-inch mountain bike:
Hmm, if solely there have been already a sort of handlebar that provided a number of hand positions… Perhaps it is also paired with a wheel dimension that didn’t require the bar to be built-in into the headtube.
No, that may be loopy, what am I even pondering?
