A few years in the past, there was a bar in Columbus, Ohio. It’s since been closed and razed after its proprietor, a serially corrupt lobbyist who later served time for his position in “a meals service bribery scheme,” went to jail for owing some $300,000 in again taxes. Once I was a younger man, my buddies and I might descend on this bar as soon as every week with a purpose to wreck home at pub trivia beneath our collective nom de guerre: Gorilla Bizkit.
One of many recurring theme rounds for this trivia sport was referred to as “Paxton or Pullman?” The host would give the title of a film, and every group must say whether or not the movie featured Invoice Paxton, Invoice Pullman, each, or neither. I bear in mind Paxton-Pullman confusion being a minor web meme again in humanity’s digital golden age, after we — inexperienced and callow as a budding flower — noticed match to spend our days figuring out whether or not a scorching canine was a sandwich. (Amongst different questions of nice teleological import.)
The joking-not-joking confusion of two males with related names and related jobs is a comedy gold mine. Contemplate the basic Saturday Night time Reside sketch “Dylan McDermott or Dermot Mulroney?”
Two years in the past, I used to be within the Arizona Diamondbacks’ clubhouse in search of Corbin Carroll, a small, dark-haired, left-handed-hitting outfielder taking part in his first full season within the majors. I ultimately discovered him, however not earlier than I ran into Dominic Fletcher, one other rookie who match all of the above descriptors.
Over the weekend, I used to be poking across the web site once I noticed Fletcher listed on a leaderboard with the 2024 rookie class. “That’s odd,” I assumed. “I may’ve sworn he performed like half the 2023 season.”
Form of. The Diamondbacks really referred to as up two dark-haired, left-handed-hitting rookie outfielders named Dominic in 2023, and between them they put collectively 284 plate appearances that yr. However greater than half of that taking part in time went to Dominic Canzone, who’s a completely totally different man.
Now, don’t fear. I do know Dominic Fletcher and Dominic Canzone are totally different guys. The issue is that I’ve hassle preserving them straight in my head. Final yr, greater than 1,400 gamers appeared within the main leagues. Then there are 1000’s extra minor leaguers, retired gamers, school gamers, and so forth who should rattle round on this noggin of mine, together with important info for my very own life. (Did I feed the cat? Did I lock my keys within the automobile once more?)
So one takes psychological shortcuts. Usually, a primary title, a place, a batting facet, a group, a debut season, and a broad bodily description are ok. I’ve completely no drawback preserving the Luis Garcias straight, for instance. However not right here. I can’t even separate the Dominics simply by age; they have been born simply 16 days aside in 1997.
However this confusion has gone on too lengthy. It’s time to unravel it, as soon as and for all, with a trivia sport. I’ll checklist a sequence of attributes that match both one Dominic, each, or neither. Identical to Paxton or Pullman.
Query No. 1: I used to be drafted by the Diamondbacks in 2019 from a university whose baseball uniforms have some shade of purple as a main shade. Am I Fletcher, Canzone, each, or neither?
Reply: Each! Fletcher was drafted seventy fifth general out of Arkansas (cardinal and white), and Canzone went within the eighth spherical, 242nd general, out of Ohio State (scarlet and grey). Talking of stuff that’s simply floating round in my head ceaselessly, Canzone confronted off towards Ben from Love Is Blind on a number of events in Massive Ten play. I say this having attended not one however two universities which can be extraordinarily valuable about what shade of purple they’re: Let’s take it down a notch. It’s purple. You possibly can name it purple.
Query No. 2: I’ve a beard, and whereas my hair isn’t particularly lengthy, there’s sufficient of it to be described as “move” or “lettuce.” Am I Fletcher, Canzone, each, or neither?
Reply: Fletcher. Completely irrelevant in a baseball context, and this might clearly change in a second. However vitally necessary simply from a standpoint of telling these two guys aside.
Query No. 3: As a brief fourth-outfielder sort, you’d suppose I can run. So I’ve posted both above-average dash velocity or a number of stolen bases in both of my seasons within the majors. Am I Fletcher, Canzone, each, or neither?
Reply: Neither! Appears could be deceiving. You’d suppose these guys may scoot, however no. Fletcher is 0-for-2 in his profession on stolen base makes an attempt, and his little legs can solely carry him to a dash velocity of 26.4 fps, in accordance with Baseball Savant. Canzone is 2-for-2, on one try per season, with a dash velocity of 27.1 fps final season. That’s solely ok for the forty second percentile.
Query No. 4: I used to be traded from Arizona to the White Sox final February for pitcher Cristian Mena. Am I Fletcher, Canzone, each, or neither?
Reply: Fletcher. Lastly, we’ve received some separation. Canzone left Arizona on the 2023 commerce deadline in what turned out to be a fairly consequential commerce: Canzone, Josh Rojas, and Ryan Bliss to the Mariners for Paul Sewald. The Mariners received a beginning third baseman, whereas the Diamondbacks received the nearer who pitched an unheralded bullpen all the best way to the World Collection.
Query No. 5: You’ve been referring to each of us as “brief,” however I’m 5-foot-11, which is above common for an American man. That’s shut sufficient to 6-foot that it will get rounded up on most guys’ on-line relationship profiles. That’s downright tall in sure elements of the nation. Cease looping me in with a man who’s 5-foot-6. Am I Fletcher, Canzone, each, or neither?
Reply: Canzone. I apologize. At 5-foot-6, Fletcher was in a six-way tie for the shortest participant within the majors final season. However 5-foot-11 is… I wouldn’t name it tall — positively not in knowledgeable baseball context — but it surely’s Not That Quick.
Query No. 6: Neither of us have been that good offensively over the previous two seasons, however I’ve at the very least a bit of energy — 14 house runs in 370 profession plate appearances, for an ISO of .182 — and a more-or-less respectable profession wRC+ of 84. Am I Fletcher, Canzone, each, or neither?
Reply: Canzone. An 84 wRC+ is 5-foot-11 for hitters. Fletcher is a profession .234/.281/.310 hitter, which is a wRC+ of 63. That’s, nicely, nearer to 5-foot-6, metaphorically talking.
Query No. 7: Josh Rojas got here up a pair questions in the past. No matter whether or not we have been ever in the identical commerce, Rojas and I play collectively now. Am I Fletcher, Canzone, each, or neither?
Reply: Fletcher. Rojas signed with the White Sox in January, and on the time Fletcher was penciled in as a possible beginning outfielder. Since then, Chicago has introduced in Joey Gallo, Michael A. Taylor, and Brandon Drury. All of that’s kicked Fletcher down the presumptive depth chart a number of spots. However the one factor all three of these gamers have in frequent is that they’re not so good as they have been a number of years in the past. (I’ll concede I had not realized how dangerous Drury was for the Angels final yr: .169/.242/.228, which is -2.1 WAR in simply 97 video games performed.)
Suffice it to say there’s a path to common taking part in time for Fletcher. Makes me wish to ask Rojas if he can inform the Dominics aside, since he’s performed with each of them on a number of groups now.
Query No. 8: My first main league house run was off Spencer Strider. Am I Fletcher, Canzone, each, or neither?
Reply: Canzone. Regardless that he’s out-homered Fletcher 14-3, Canzone’s e book, because it have been, will not be that lengthy. However there are a number of good names in there: Justin Verlander, Marcus Stroman, Erick Fedde, Chris Bassitt, along with Strider.
Query No. 9: I’ve a comparatively upright batting stance. Am I Fletcher, Canzone, each, or neither?
Reply: Canzone, however it is a pretty new growth. Right here’s Fletcher, who has a crouch and a flat bat, and each different attribute you’d count on from a brief man’s batting stance.
In 2023, Canzone additionally hit from a fairly deep crouch, together with his entrance foot manner open, like should you have been within the strategy of taking Jeff Bagwell out of your suitcase and unfolding him.
Final yr, Canzone straightened it up.
Canzone nearly doubled his stroll fee from 2023 to 2024, however he’s not likely hitting the ball any more durable. His GB/FB ratio stayed about the identical, and his strikeout fee elevated by nearly half in 2024, whereas his batting common dropped 24 factors. Canzone may be getting unfortunate; he’s suffered from average underperformance of his anticipated stats (xwOBA, and so forth), and his profession BABIP is simply .234. Which is so low I assumed it was an error at first; amongst energetic place gamers with 300 or extra profession plate appearances, that’s sixth from the underside.
One final query.
Query No. 10: As if it weren’t complicated sufficient that the Diamondbacks introduced up Carroll and the 2 Dominics in fast succession, I’m a (appears to be like sidelong at Dominic Canzone) comparatively brief left-handed-hitting outfielder who’s one letter away from sharing a reputation with knowledgeable hockey participant. Am I Fletcher, Canzone, each, or neither?
Reply: Neither! That’s Alek Thomas, who was additionally a part of that 2023 Diamondbacks outfield, and whereas I by no means received him blended up together with his teammates, I did should make a acutely aware effort to cease calling him Akil Thomas, who’s a middle within the Los Angeles Kings’ system. There’s no relaxation for the weary.
