So the opposite day I posted about fellow growing older bike Web character Lucas Brunelle, after which yesterday the YouTubes served me this:
Oh, Lucas.
Lucas, Lucas, Lucas.
Initially, with all due respect, from one growing older rider to a different, you’re like 75 years outdated. What the hell are you doing along with your levers?

Look, I get it, slender bars and turned-in levers are at present modern amongst roadies. However don’t attempt to copy the children. You’re sufficiently old to know that from about 1998 to love 2010 or thereabouts, street racing handlebar setups really made sense–you used bars that have been a centimeter or two wider than what individuals have been using within the downtube shifter days, which gave you further stability and leverage. And naturally you oriented your levers kind of parallel to one another and never all cockeyed like Señor Hacer de Manos right here:

Now everybody’s using teeny bars and turning their levers in. Positive. Once more, if the kiddies need to do this as a result of it makes them barely extra aero no matter then good for them. However for chrissakes, you’re an ideal grandfather! Do you shrink the font dimension in your e-reader as you become old? No you don’t! Then why would you deliberately make your bike harder to trip? So you possibly can lay it down making a very strange left-hand activate a suburban street?

Why the hell is the godfather of outlaw biking movies, who has chased a number of the world’s craziest cyclists via a number of the world’s craziest streets, wiping out on the entrance to an outside furnishings retailer on a solo trip?

I imply positive, they do have all the things you want on your outside dwelling space, however nonetheless:

And nice, there was somewhat little bit of gravel:

However that may not have been an issue if solely he’d been using an age-appropriate bicycle as an alternative of this…factor:

Significantly, levers apart, an 86 year-old man shouldn’t have a saddle-to-bar drop like that. Everybody is aware of that the decrease your balls hold the upper your bars ought to be. Good grief Lucas, you ought to be monitoring the speed of enhance of your scranus-to-testicle differential carefully at your age and elevating your bars inversely, I believed this widespread information!

[A bike fitting expert monitors an aging rider’s “pants yabbies” and their inexorable migration floorward.]
Why do you suppose Ol’ Man Branson switched to flat bars?

[Branson’s hang so low he gets road rash on his scrotum.]
Sadly Lucas isn’t listening to the universe, which is telling him in no unsure phrases to Simply Purchase A Rivendell Already. As an alternative he tries to show his crash right into a educating second and provides the world’s worst lesson in turning, reducing heedlessly throughout two lanes of visitors:

Why does he provoke his left turns from the far proper facet of the street as an alternative of shifting over to the left first?

Was he simply using alongside when he was all of a sudden overcome by an intense want for a brand new patio eating set?
Appears to me he ought to be getting in on the Platypus presale as an alternative.