AUERBACH CENTER — On the conclusion of Tuesday’s Celtics follow, Joe Mazzulla was requested a few media pickup basketball sport that was scheduled for later within the day on the Auerbach Middle.
“I don’t know find out how to break it to you,” Mazzulla informed us reporters. “However you’re not taking part in in opposition to one another — you’re taking part in in opposition to the coaches.”
And, true to his phrase, Mazzulla laced up after Celtics follow concluded — alongside six extraordinarily proficient assistant coaches — prepared for a Celtics Media vs Celtics Coaches full-court basketball sport that was sponsored by the Junior Celtics Academy and New Stability.
Former NBA gamers Phil Pressey and DaSean Butler, in addition to 4 former school basketball stars: Fairmont State College’s God Shammgod Jr., Duke College’s Amile Jefferson, Richmond’s Tony Dobbins, and Bucknell’s DJ MacLeay.
I feel you’ll be able to guess who got here out on prime.
All of the whereas, Celtics stars watched from up above, a smile plastered throughout Jaylen Brown’s face as the sport progressed. Celtics heart Luke Garza hardly regarded away from the demolition happening on the parquet.
“Anybody wish to do media?” Brown belted down on the reporters after the ultimate buzzer sounded. (I’ll be aware, Brown did cheer on the media all through the scrimmage. Thanks, Jaylen.)
How Joe Mazzulla and the Celtics coaches destroyed the media
It’s laborious to even describe what went down within the sport. To explain it as a catastrophe for us reporters can be an understatement. The sheer hole in athleticism — velocity, dimension, instincts, you title it — felt so insurmountable that I can hardly pinpoint what even went down. I’d love to check out a field rating, however the quantity of live-ball turnovers we accrued would in all probability make me sick.
What I do know for sure is that the Celtics media conglomerate was so totally outplayed that simply getting the ball previous halfcourt felt like a victory.
A rebound (I obtained one!) felt like a landing.
Hitting the rim on a shot try? Virtually a trigger for celebration.
It felt just like the coaches not often missed, however particular shoutout to participant improvement coach God Shammgod Jr, who was completely lights out.
The sport served as an (unneeded) reminder of the ridiculous disparity between us common individuals and elite athletes. (Consider it or not, there have been a number of former school basketball gamers amongst us.)
And, it was particularly humbling to keep in mind that, as huge because the hole was between the teaching workers and the media, the Celtics gamers themselves are in a complete different stratosphere.
Workforce Media scored 4 factors — shoutout to Forbes’ Bobby Krivitisky and Boston.com’s Khari Thompson for ending their layups — and truthfully, if we performed that sport over 100 occasions, the ultimate rating would spherical out to about 57-4 each time.
And, as irritating because it was to not have the ability to dribble or convert easy passes, I couldn’t combat the immense feeling of gratitude and pleasure I felt all through the blood bathtub.
Right here we have been on the Auerbach Middle, residence of the Boston Celtics. Each time I contested a shot or hit the deck diving for a unfastened ball, I reminded myself the place I used to be and who I used to be taking part in in opposition to. A few occasions, I picked up Mazzulla himself, only for the hell of it.
As a result of why wouldn’t you wish to guard the Celtics’ head coach?
I fell in love with the sport of basketball once I was 11 years previous. I at all times sucked at sports activities — tennis, volleyball, dodgeball, monitor, you title it. Throughout gymnasium class, I normally learn a ebook on a mat within the nook, gossiped with associates, or tried to persuade my gymnasium lecturers to let me go to the library.
True story, I swear. It wasn’t even as a result of I disliked sports activities; it’s simply no enjoyable being completely horrible at something.
However every part modified the primary day I noticed a basketball undergo the online. It took every part, and I imply every part, to get to the purpose the place I obtained ok at one sport that I made the highschool basketball crew.
Making the varsity basketball crew was the results of hours on hours of three-point makes an attempt each evening (shoutout to my dad for the late-night assists), coupled with an obsessive ardour for the game that I actually imagine only a few individuals have ever felt.
My extremely mediocre highschool basketball profession stays my most prized accomplishment, it doesn’t matter what I accomplish sooner or later. In my senior yr, I used to be on considerably of a heater for about two months. That stretch of basketball nonetheless means every part to me, virtually a decade later.
Typically, I replay my best-ever sport — an 8 three-pointer evening in opposition to our rival faculty, Newton North — simply because I nonetheless can’t fathom how cool a sense it was for the basket to really really feel as massive because the ocean.
I want I have been ok to play basketball as a job, just like the gamers I cowl. I wasn’t even ok to play in school, a actuality that turned troublesome to reckon with as I neared the tip of my senior season (and cried after each sport).
However masking the Celtics and the WNBA is just not a foul comfort prize. Day-after-day, I pinch myself on my solution to “work” as a result of I nonetheless can’t fathom that “work” means watching basketball, speaking about basketball, and writing about basketball. I’m assured that the gratitude won’t ever fade.
Celtics Coaches vs Celtics Media was in all probability essentially the most lopsided sport of basketball I’ll ever partake in.
It was additionally the time of my life. I can solely hope we do it once more.
