What can I say a few boxing scene that’s completely uninteresting? Higher but, what can I write about when there’s, nearly actually, nothing price writing about?
I imply, I may go off– again– on the Saudis’ boxing takeover and the bootlickers (aka Turki Gobblers) who’ve thrown themselves on the flittering thobes of the murderous monarchy. However I’m fairly having fun with the shitshow that the takeover has develop into and, proper now, I’m sufficiently happy that the suck-ass sellouts have tainted their skilled reputations sufficient to make the taint stick.
I may additionally go “in depth” in regards to the upcoming fights. However, to be sincere, I don’t discover any of the “huge” ones all that attention-grabbing. Shakur Stevenson will make William Zepeda look sickly– and put us all to sleep within the course of. Pacquiao-Barrios– who the fuck cares? I additionally discover it a bit of onerous to get excited for a rematch the place one man (Usyk) stopped the opposite man (Dubois) the primary time round with a not-so-stiff jab. Canelo-Crawford is alright, however neither is preventing the man they SHOULD be preventing. Plus, it’s for the advantage of the Crown Prince, so fuck ‘em each.
I may go off on shit-head media individuals as soon as once more, however sooner or later doing that appears as productive as writing an editorial on how my canine pisses on the curtains once I go away him alone in the home. Rocky is who he’s and pontificating on the whys and hows ain’t altering a factor. I simply need to hike up the fucking curtains once I exit.
Evidently, I used to be in a little bit of a quandary when it got here to what to write down this week. Then, it hit me. I’ll simply make some shit up and folks DO love lists, proper?
So, girls, gents, and cockeyed stalkers, I current to you the first-ever Magno’s Boxing Energy Rankings!
Okay. That is only a rating of boxing individuals I like, respect, and/or discover entertaining. And, very similar to the Ring Journal rankings, it’s assembled completely in line with my private whims and prejudices on the time I’m assembling it. However, they’re POWER RANKINGS nonetheless. Take pleasure in.
George Kambosos: I simply take pleasure in sincere, earnest fighters getting paydays and lengthening their careers (with out endangering themselves). Kambosos has executed simply that, parlaying his huge Teofimo Lopez win into a number of B-side paydays. He’s not a terrific fighter, however he’s good and, when all is alleged and executed, he’s gotten the form of paydays that ought to preserve him from post-boxing monetary catastrophe (crossing fingers). That’s an excellent form of boxing win.
Emily Pandelakis Girten: An important publicist, but in addition only a actually good and first rate human being. It’s important to cherish individuals like her on this sport.
Raging Babe: Truthfully, I don’t know her and I’ve by no means spoken along with her. I’m basing this rating completely on one tweet, the one the place she completely emasculated Edgar Berlanga in just some brutal sentences. I imply, how will you not like: “Turning a lopsided loss to Canelo right into a victory parade tour, isn’t a flex” and “Keith Connolly is the actual MVP of your profession?” That’s some high quality hate there.
Bob Arum: I like Arum much more in his present position as a somewhat-out-of-it elder statesman who simply doesn’t give a fuck. His latest quotes blasting Canelo as a “businessman” and Turki Alalshikh for selecting a non-boxing promoter to advertise boxing’s supposed largest battle are amongst just some latest gems. Arum has develop into the crotchety grandfather telling the ugly reality on the Thanksgiving dinner desk.
The New Tremendous Secret Copy Editor At Ring Journal: The one enjoyable a part of going to the New Period Saudi-owned Ring Journal was once testing the humorous typos and grammatical errors, wrapped round clunky wording and amusing errors in truth and/or logic. The latest hiring of an precise copy editor has just about eradicated all of that sideshow enjoyable, thereby making it completely pointless to go to the positioning in any respect. That’s an additional 15-20 free minutes I can use enjoying Tower Protection video games on my cellphone. Thanks, Turki!
Caleb Plant: I identical to the man, what can I say? He speaks his thoughts, is a little bit of an asshole, and normally places on good reveals within the ring. That makes him high tier to me.
Keyshawn Davis: I used to be at all times form of excessive on him, however I truthfully didn’t see what all of the “next-level” fuss was about. Nicely, he’s proven me. He’s fought his method to star standing and, not like so many different boxing “stars” nowadays, truly appears to grasp that leisure is a part of the stardom deal.
David Benavidez: I’ve nothing unhealthy to say about Benavidez, how he fights, who he fights, or how he conducts himself in or exterior the ring. That, in and of itself, makes him noteworthy in my private Magnoverse. He’s the form of fighter that purist boxing followers declare they need, earlier than they flip round and diss him and diminish his profession as a result of he’s a “PBC fighter.”
Al Haymon: The “within the shadows” boxing businessman is “Energy Ranked” for only one reason– as a result of he pisses off so many idiots with out ever saying a phrase. That’s a degree of pissing-off-idiots effectivity I can solely dream of getting.
Acquired one thing for Magno? Ship it right here: paulmagno@theboxingtribune.com
