I strive to not click on on sensational headlines, I actually, actually don’t. However I strive to not do plenty of different issues, too, reminiscent of cross-chaining, ingesting within the morning, and cursing on the cat. As common, the solar’s barely up and I’ve already failed in any respect of these issues (except for the cross-chaining, although I can guarantee you I’ll have performed that by lunch), so what the hell, I’m going to make you click on on this headline too:
Right here’s what occurred, and I’m unsure how I missed this again in 2023, although presumably it was a uncommon case of my managing to not click on on a lurid headline:
An Olympic bicycle owner whose spouse died after he hit her with a automobile throughout a combat has been criticised for a social media put up describing a Porsche as a “weapon”.
Final 12 months, Rohan Dennis obtained a 17-month suspended sentence over a 2023 automobile incident which killed Melissa Hoskins – additionally an Olympic bicycle owner – exterior the couple’s Adelaide residence.
A courtroom discovered Dennis was not criminally liable for his spouse’s dying, however had disregarded her security after he continued to drive whereas she clung onto the automobile.
Perhaps I wasn’t ingesting that morning.*
*[Relax, I don’t really drink in the morning…except for certain holidays and very special occasions. And at airports, obviously. You’re allowed to drink at any time of day or night in an airport.]
Anyway, this occurred awhile in the past, and it appears like he obtained a suspended sentence in 2025, however apparently he’s within the information once more due to a social media put up wherein he refers to a Porsche as a “weapon:”
Her feedback referred to 2 photos that Dennis – who remains to be banned from driving – posted on his Instagram account of a newly-washed black Porsche with the caption: “What an absolute weapon”.
I figured this was simply a picture of individuals digging up harmless posts from earlier than the incident, however then I checked and…holy crap, he made the put up two days in the past?!?
But it surely’s okay, as a result of it’s not the Porsche, it’s only a Porsche:
It’s understood the Porsche just isn’t the identical automobile that killed his spouse.
Whew!
Additionally, he wasn’t driving a Porsche on the time. I seemed it up, and apparently it was a Volkswagen Amarok, which I additionally needed to lookup, as a result of we don’t have that automobile right here in West Greenland:
Wait. It’s a pickup, and you may’t purchase it right here? This story simply will get weirder and weirder.
Look, as I say, I actually strive to not get sucked into the sordid affairs of others, or revel of their misfortune. (Except it’s somebody dropping their derailleur’s battery midway by a 100-mile experience and having to finish it with out shifting, I’ll completely experience that.) Additionally, perhaps persons are misinterpreting the Porsche put up–like, perhaps he hates vehicles now, and so he was calling it a “weapon” disgustedly, like they do on Streetsblog. However nonetheless, I simply needed to know…how does one thing like this even occur, anyway?
Through the case, the courtroom heard that the pair had been arguing about kitchen renovations earlier than Dennis obtained into his automobile to depart.
Hoskins jumped onto the bonnet and later held onto the automobile door as Dennis continued to drive, earlier than falling off and getting struck by the automobile. She was taken to hospital and later died of her accidents.
At sentencing, Decide Ian Press stated he accepted Dennis tried to “de-escalate the argument” by driving off nevertheless it didn’t excuse his actions to maintain driving whereas his spouse was on the automobile.
The decide accepted Dennis was remorseful and had a “sense of accountability for all that occurred”.
What sort of high-stakes kitchen-related argument leads to the dying of a partner? Perhaps it was over whether or not they need to go along with the Waterstone Modern Gantry Faucet With Articulated Spout (worth: $6,267.75):
Or the Waterstone Conventional Wheel Pull-Down Faucet (worth: $5,904.75):
Every is arguably the Gravel Bike of Taps, in that there’s means an excessive amount of happening for what’s actually a fairly easy enterprise you can accomplish with one thing a lot, a lot easier.
Look, I already really feel ashamed of myself for having written as a lot about this as I’ve, however a minimum of perhaps we will be taught one thing right here, and if nothing else this story is a vital reminder that if it’s important to go away in a huff you need to use a motorbike as an alternative of a automobile, and in addition that you need to at all times go away any and all residence renovation choices to your spouse. (It’s not sexist if it’s true.) Oh, and STAY OFF SOCIAL MEDIA, particularly in the event you’ve been concerned in another person’s dying.
Transferring on, yesterday I discussed the Platypus:
And within the step-thru spirit I’m happy to current this month’s winner of the JBARA Award:
Additionally, I don’t know who the vendor of this subsequent bike is, and I sometimes don’t promote nameless classifieds, particularly since final time I obtained a reader concerned in an internet sale they obtained scammed. Nonetheless, *assuming it’s legit*, would somebody please, please purchase this and take it off the market so I don’t drive as much as New Paltz and purchase it for myself?
Caveat emptor, do your due diligence, disclaimer disclaimer, and all that stuff. But when now you can choose up a motorbike like this for underneath $400 as a result of the world has moved on to crabon, dick breaks, and electrical shifting, then I say convey ’em on.
