I’m all free of charge enterprise, and I’m leery of making any extra authorities companies, however we might have to enact some new laws and empower some type of heavily-armed physique to maintain the bike business and the tech business as far aside as potential, as a result of this will’t be good:
First we should always lastly go the FRICTION [Federal Restriction on Integrating Cycling and Technology In Our Nation] Act, then we should empower brokers from the Bureau of Wheels, Tires and Frames [WTF] to maintain tech corporations away from biking corporations by any means needed. See, we should finish this predatory habits earlier than they begin “integrating agentic AI into bikes:”
Sure, it’s at all times about making biking extra “accessible,” isn’t it? See, the actual downside with bicycles is that they’ve at all times been too difficult:
Luckily, issues are a lot less complicated now:
It simply retains getting higher and higher:
And with synthetic intelligence it would solely get higher nonetheless.
Look, I notice it’s futile to rail towards AI. It’s the following part in our technological evolution, and it’s inevitable. Even I exploit it to generate photos equivalent to this one:
Although after all it by no means works. On this case, I instructed it to make me a picture of “The Time-Touring T-Shirt-Carrying Retro-Fred From The Planet Tridork Driving His Aero Bike Of Doom,” and it wasn’t even shut.
This, after all, is the Time-Touring T-Shirt-Carrying Retro-Fred From The Planet Tridork:
Although he’ll additionally reply to “Bret.”
However simply because AI will finally work out learn how to generate correct photos and can most likely be scripting this weblog in a matter of months, that doesn’t imply I would like it on my bikes, or that I want a wise handlebar:
Do you suppose it is available in quill?
I’m going to guess it doesn’t.
Both method, you most likely didn’t ask for “the world’s first absolutely linked sensible handlebar.” For that matter you didn’t even ask for 31.8. However guess what? You’re getting it anyway, and it’s known as…FLITEDECK!?!
I’m sorry, WHAT?
When you’re sufficiently old to recollect 9 pace (sounds loopy, however somebody born when Shimano launched 9-speed Dura-Ace is now nearly 30 years previous), you already know that Flight Deck was Shimano’s built-in cycle pc:
[That appears to be a 10-speed version, but whatever.]
You managed it by way of slightly nubbin on the lever hood, which allowed you to toggle by means of thrilling options equivalent to “CLK” (that’s techn-jargon for “clock”), and naturally Campagnolo answered with its personal model, the “Ergo Mind,” which, uh, most likely additionally had a clock:
After all, in these darkish days of male chauvinism, whereas we might have had computer systems, there was no place for information on our precise handlebars, as that house was reserved for photos of scantily-clad women:
However these days are over…or possibly they’re not:
Possibly that is solely the start:
I suppose it’s secure to imagine FLITEDECK can have a “Digital Pin-Up” characteristic.
Now they will get stop and desist letters from Shimano and Cinelli.
