You realize when a media embargo is lastly lifted and hastily in every single place you look you see yet one more article about YET ANOTHER GODDAMN GRAVEL BIKE?!?

Behold, the Way forward for Gravel Bikes…the Mountain Bike!
Trek Bicycles has its finger on the heart beat with regards to gravel developments, and with the launch of the new Trek CheckOUT, the model has given the world a contemporary, full-suspension gravel bike that has been in growth for years. The inspiration for this bike is to discover the potential of gravel bikes and pay homage to those that like to ‘underbike’ on singletrack. From that budding inspiration got here years of progress to develop a motorbike platform that few manufacturers have ever tried with success. However how did they crack the code?
Oh for chrissakes. “Crack the code?!?” Right here’s the code:
Make mountain bikes more and more difficult till they now not even resemble bicycles
Consult with using something that’s not this yr’s mountain bike on something that’s not a paved street “underbiking”
Invent a brand new type of bicycle referred to as a “gravel bike” that’s actually only a mountain bike from a couple of years in the past
“Proper measurement” your organization by 10% (right-sizing is the company equal of underbiking)
Revenue! (Or at the very least keep in enterprise)
I imply why does your entire biking media associate with the concept that this bike is someway a brand new factor? Ship them a banana with a media embargo on it, name it an apple, and these folks wouldn’t miss a beat. “They cracked the code! These are the yellowest apples I’ve ever seen!”

Plus they’re simpler to hold in a jersey pocket (or gravel jersey nipple pocket), and due to proprietary TFPT (“Software-Free Peeling Expertise”) you now not have to hold that unwieldy multitool in every single place!

Sure, these rectangular yellow “gravel apples” are going to be the brand new normal going ahead. It’s a revolution!
In the meantime, the opposite massive bike information is the US ban on imports from Big:

Shockingly, it seems like large bicycle firm Big will not be coddling its workforce:
Big, the world’s largest bike producer, on Thursday warned of delays to shipments to the US after American customs officers introduced a shock ban on imports over unspecified pressured labor accusations.
US Customs and Border Safety (CBP) issued an order on Wednesday to detain Big bikes, their components, and equipment manufactured in Taiwan following an investigation into the bike-making powerhouse that discovered indicators of pressured labor.
This has been notably robust on politically appropriate cyclists who’re torn between protesting company meanies like Big and Specialised…

…and protesting the present administration. If solely the opposite candidate had gained and had been at present in workplace, the individuals who go away feedback on bike web sites could be delighted, however as a substitute they appear to have settled on the reason that that is simply one other ploy in the entire tariff negotiation factor…which does appear possible, although it’s additionally been within the air for awhile:

Apparently employees at Big are charged “month-to-month service charges” for which they don’t obtain any service, similar to the one in your cellphone plan, and your cable plan, and your checking account, and…
But all Big interviewees, recruited between 2017 and 2024, stated that — moreover the up-front recruitment charges — they’re constantly charged a month-to-month service price by Taiwanese labour brokers, although nobody felt they obtain any service in return. The price equals two months’ base wage per three-year contract and is authorized in Taiwan. The price is deducted by Big and proven on employees’ payslips…
Some interviewees complained about crowded and soiled dorms. Pictures shared with my workforce present as much as 20 beds in slender rooms. Some instructed us about punitive administration practices together with deportation, threats of deportation, and pay reductions for not obeying office or dorm guidelines. Others spoke of a factors system with zero factors may lead to speedy deportation.
However sure, that three-year contract sounds unhealthy…virtually as unhealthy as what occurs in America, the place for 4 years or extra younger adults (or, extra precisely, their mother and father) pay an annual service price of $60,000 and as much as reside in soiled dorms awash in medication and obtain no wages in any way, solely to obtain a ineffective diploma in “Gender and Sexuality Research:”

Objectively talking, it’s a far, much better financial proposition handy your youngster over to a Taiwanese labor dealer than to Bard Faculty. Not solely do they nonetheless receives a commission one thing after all of the middlemen take their minimize, however they really study a talent:

And I’m keen to wager Big manufacturing unit housing is extra sanitary than a shared residence in Ridgewood.
However sure, it’s more and more tough to buy responsibly lately. Positive, you would get an MBA in Sustainability with a view to find out how, however that can value your mother and father at the very least one other $120,000 on high of what they already paid to your Gender and Sexuality diploma. That’s why I feel the bicycle trade must undertake an moral manufacturing labeling system instantly. Solely probably the most moral bicycles would get to put on the Pleased Face:

Equivalent to these made right here in America by artisans who solely work once they really feel prefer it:

Whereas the worst bikes and merchandise could be required to show the Frowny Face of Disgrace in a extremely seen location:

This would come with Big bicycles, Specialised equipment from that manufacturing unit in El Salvador, and naturally something with a battery:

Good factor bicycles don’t want batteries, proper?
Proper…?