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Alluding To The Elusive Nature Of The Illusory – Bike Snob NYC

May 28, 2025
in Cycling
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Over time I’ve come throughout all types of flotsam and detritus while biking, however maybe nothing I’ve encountered has been as disconcerting as this pair of pants:

Why are they only mendacity there in the course of the bike path? Did some tragedy befall the erstwhile wearer? Is he distant? Did he drop them, extricate himself from them, and run away screaming? Or is he crouching pantless within the undergrowth simply ready to pounce? Positive, there may very well be an harmless rationalization–oh, I dunno, like possibly they fell of the bike of some Brooklyn-bound bikepacker getting back from a protracted weekend getaway with some buddies. However the truth that the belt continues to be in situ across the waist suggests this isn’t the case, and that they have been actually eliminated in nice haste. Additionally, these don’t appear to be the form of pants that might belong to somebody who watches “Path Much less Pedaled.” For all these causes and extra, the discarded pants stuffed me with an existential sense of terror that was virtually Kubrickian:

That’s just about precisely what I seemed like, too, besides I used to be clutching a Mike FramePlumper body pump as an alternative of a kitchen knife. Talking of which, as of June 1st the Roadini shall be six months outdated:

Given the milestone I used to be tempted to supply up some form of six-month assessment. Nonetheless, it occurred to me that after 18 years of writing about bikes I nonetheless do not know how one can assessment them. So I checked out an precise bike assessment extra at much less at random for steerage:

Granted, regardless of each being street bikes, the Specialised S-Works Tarmac SL8 and the Rivendell Roadini are fairly completely different. For instance, my bike doesn’t have a “velocity sniffer:”

Essentially the most polarising a part of the design is the pinnacle tube, which Specialised has dubbed the ‘Pace Sniffer’ as a consequence of its less-than-beautiful (in my humble opinion) protrusion past the fork. It’s not dissimilar to the design of the Pinarello F, choosing extra materials in entrance of the steerer, moderately than an extended trailing edge. As is usually the case, now a 12 months into its existence, the ‘Pace Sniffer’ doesn’t appear to be fairly as polarizing because it as soon as was.

Although it does have a lion with an eye fixed patch, so I figured that was shut sufficient:

Nonetheless, whereas I respect not solely the pinnacle tube’s aesthetics but additionally the comfort of the quill stem in addition to the general top, I had failed to offer satisfactory consideration to its stiffness:

My first journey on the brand new bike – final 12 months – was a memorable one, made up of twisty Scottish lanes simply exterior of Glasgow. What was instantly noticeable was that not more than 25 minutes into the journey, I used to be completely assured throwing the bike down damp and winding descents. The pinnacle tube stiffness made for very assured dealing with – one thing that was tangibly higher than different bikes I’ve examined. 

Have you ever ever lacked confidence in your bicycle as a result of the pinnacle tube lacked ample stiffness? After all you haven’t. That’s since you can not “really feel” a head tube. Nonetheless, you aren’t knowledgeable bike reviewer, who’s one way or the other in a position to discern the flex within the shortest piece of tubing on a bicycle body.

Okay, positive, I do know what you’re pondering: “That’s not the shortest piece of tubing on a bicycle body! What concerning the backside bracket?” Good level. I admit I don’t know whether or not or not the underside bracket is technically thought of a tube, however I do know that there’s completely no manner anybody can really feel that flex, even knowledgeable bike reviewer. Proper?

Flawed:

Backside bracket stiffness too was spectacular given the bike’s weight, although I wouldn’t say excellent. Curiously, that is the place Specialised mentioned the most important features have been to be discovered, however when sprinting all out, leaning the bike over to use as a lot drive as potential to the underside bracket, I did really feel some deflection.

Positive, a few of the most profitable skilled bicycle racers within the historical past of the game have ridden Specialised’s race bikes to victory with out being unduly hampered by the underside bracket, however alas it’s one way or the other lower than the trials of a solo journey on the twisty lanes round Glasgow. I imply it’s good, however it’s not excellent. (What would “excellent” backside bracket stiffness say, anyway? He doesn’t make it clear.) And when you assume possibly he’s simply feeling the tires or one thing, then sorry, nope, you’re incorrect, as a result of he did the “maths” and it’s not the tires:

This may be brought on by tyre deformation, however once you do the maths, experiencing some backside bracket deflection at a torque of round 120Nm is reasonable.

Oh certain. If 5 will get ya ten, ten’ll get ya twenty. It’s simply widespread sense.

Anyway, backside bracket flex at 120Nm apart, the Specialised S-works Tarmac SL8 is one of the best race bike he has ever ridden…

Merely put, the Specialised S-works Tarmac SL8 is one of the best race bike I’ve ever ridden. 

…no less than till he rides one other race bike. Actually their Race Bike Of The 12 months was this Wilier Whogivesafuck:

Whew! Let’s assessment:

It’s like wine

It’s additionally a weapon (didn’t Jesus flip weapons into wine?)

It virtually helped Mark Cavendish win a stage, although it turned out to be “illusive,” so you actually can’t blame the bike. (Perhaps he drank an excessive amount of wine and began seeing issues?)

On this context I really feel grossly underqualified to assessment the Roadini, besides to say that that it’s principally my dream bike and it makes me need to journey off into the horizon and by no means come again to this dreary, workaday world:

That should occur often, proper? Somebody reaches biking transcendence and will get transported to a different airplane of existence, by no means to be seen or heard from once more? In a metropolis as huge as New York you’ve bought to determine no less than one or two folks set out for his or her Sunday journey solely to ascend to a better state of existence past area and time and want and the restrictions of insufficiently stiff backside brackets and head tubes.

Perhaps that explains the pants…

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Tags: AlludingBikeElusiveIllusorynatureNYCSnob
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