Yesterday I discussed Bromptons, and the largest information in bikes proper now could be in fact the launch of the brand new Brompton gravel bike:

Oh, wait, sorry, it’s not a gravel bike:

It’s an “off-road” bike:

See, the letter “G” means various things to totally different folks. For instance, in Germany, it means “gëlande:”

So, mainly, gravel.
Additionally, all of the press photographs appear to characteristic the bike ridden on gëlande consisting of very small rocks…

…or, you understand, gravel:

Appears to me that if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck and it has extensive tanwall tires like a duck…effectively, then perhaps it’s a gravel duck:

Supple, extensive webbed toes are perfect for gravel, versus the slender and exhausting ones you’ll usually discover on highway fowl:

[Pigeons also lack rack mounts and clearance for fenders.]
None of that is to impugn the bike itself, which looks as if a improbable thought. No, it’s merely amusing to look at because the time period “gravel” turns into so pervasive that folks are actually embarrassed to make use of it–and but they must not less than allude to it, as a result of all people responds to it. It’s an elaborate advertising dance by which firms should try to attraction to the conventional shopper with out concurrently offending the cognoscenti. Even throughout the heady days of Peak Fixie we by no means noticed something fairly like this:

[The Bianchi Pista F-Gear. But don’t call it a fixed-gear! The “F” is for freewheel, though the one it comes with simply lacks the necessary mechanism to allow coasting. Also, “Pista” doesn’t necessarily mean track. For example, it some English-speaking nations it’s simply the past tense of the informal term for urinate.]
However sure, as I say, what’s to not like a few extra versatile Brompton? Although I admit I’m deeply involved about this app:

I’m prepared to wager that e-Bromptons will incorporate an auto-fold characteristic within the subsequent 10 years.
In the meantime, Lachlan Morton, who’s to “alt” biking what Jack White is to “indie” rock, is at present using round Australia, and he says it’s “a whole lot of pedalling:”

No kidding. He additionally says it’s “not a vacation:”

Actually, although?

I imply, it kinda is. Lachlan Morton is ostensibly on a company professional biking crew, and presumably will get a paycheck, however as an alternative of getting to fetch water bottles or experience crew time trials within the Tour de France or no matter he will get to do gravel races and different feats of endurance he concocts himself as an alternative. Anybody who’s ever had a job will acknowledge this tactic instantly: by endeavor concerned, time-consuming, and but in the end pointless tasks you not solely keep away from scrutiny for lengthy durations of time however you additionally get to keep away from your co-workers within the course of. I used to do the identical factor as a youngster once I labored in a ironmongery shop and used to volunteer myself to “reorganize the basement” for weeks at a time. Punch in, cover from the shoppers for eight hours, after which punch out and go residence. As for Morton, whereas his teammates are doing boring coaching rides and being compelled to inhale carbon monoxide or no matter, he’s getting loads of sleep, using all day by way of the Australian countryside, then ingesting beer together with his help crew:

Sure, the article is filled with blatant info like this. It additionally claims the rationale he’s using anti-clockwise is to “reap the benefits of prevailing tailwinds…”

…when everyone knows the rationale he’s doing it’s that he’s in Australia, the place it’s a must to experience backwards, similar to the bogs flush:
If he needed to do it clockwise he’d have to suit that loopy equipment to his bike which might lead to a major weight penalty.
Lastly, you’ll be happy to know I’ve discovered the “collabo” bike of your goals:

RARE SNAPPLE CBS Wonderful Race TV Present Collectible Restricted Particular Promo Full Suspension Mountain Bike
1 OF ONLY 500 MADE!
Again in 2011 there was a co-marketing contest with Snapple and “The Wonderful Race” CBS TV present
CONDITION:All unique and in good used situation, however minor rust and a small crack on wheel cowl.Bottles NOT Included:)
FEATURES:· Coloration: Yellow· Wheels: 26″ (Customized Snapple Rear Cowl)· Body: 19″· Gears: 21 Pace – SunRun· Suspension: Full – KeZehn· V-Brakes: Yinxing,· Features a kickstand· NEW MSRP was $4,000
You possibly can’t afford to not purchase it.