With the foliage in essentially the most vibrant part of its loss of life throes it’s straightforward to miss one thing as mundane as a disabled fowl scooter:
Nevertheless, on this case I observed not solely the scooter itself but additionally the pathetic plea that was plastered beneath:
What?!? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!? Hey, I’m not a type of assholes who will knock this stuff over or toss them within the river, however there’s no goddamn manner I’m gonna choose up their scooters for them. That is like going right into a Burger King just for them at hand you a bag of frozen substances, level you to a microwave, and say, “You make it.” Really, it’s not even that, as a result of in that case I really needed the Burger King. Actually, this is sort of a Burger King worker leaving a bag of the shop’s trash in entrance of your own home with a word on it that claims, “Please eliminate this for me.” I keep in mind when shared “micromobility” was going to avoid wasting society–I even believed it for awhile myself! Now I perceive that at finest it’s the Life Alert of the transit world:
Talking of transit, with a single Los Angeles baseball group rebuffing each of New York Metropolis’s groups one after the opposite, we’re feeling deeply insecure and so in an act of desperation the Division of Transportation is falling again on smugness:
Yeah, we actually acquired them there, as a result of not like Los Angeles, New York Metropolis doesn’t have any overly large and congested roadways or something like that.
Oh, wait, sure we do, and also you don’t want AI to generate pictures of it, both. All you want is the images of them the town makes use of as an example their very own reviews of how shitty they’re:
In reality, not solely do we now have essentially the most congested freeway in the whole nation, however we occupy three of the highest 10 spots!
We could not win the World Sequence, however we’ll at all times have the most effective site visitors.
Not solely that, however the final time Dodgers and Yankees met within the World Sequence was 1981. Since then, Los Angeles has constructed a whole commuter rail system:
And in that very same period of time, we’ve mainly simply constructed 1.8 miles of subway observe:
It took us 88 years and it’s the costliest subway line in the whole world:
Oh yeah, we additionally prolonged the 7 practice one (1) cease and constructed a big-ass subway station that no one makes use of.
In order I prefer to say:
See, we like to consider ourselves as a strolling (or bicycling, or public transit) city, however we’re actually in no place to congratulate ourselves for transcending the ills of motordom:
Because it occurs, this occurred proper exterior of my youthful son’s faculty. Luckily it seems to have occurred within the wee hours when there have been no children round, however once I handed by within the late morning they had been nonetheless cleansing up the particles:
I plugged the plate of the overturned douche canoe into the How’s My Driving website:
The automobile has obtained a formidable variety of fines over the previous couple years:
Principally parking…
…however some pink mild and dashing violations too:
Be aware that How’s My Driving doesn’t choose up shifting violations, solely digicam violations and parking tickets, which is knowledge that’s publicly accessible. Town really created a program to cope with drivers like this, however they by no means did something with it and so they let it expire:
However at the very least we’re not LA, proper?
![IPL 2026 [WATCH]: Shubman Gill, Axar Patel and others console David Miller following DC’s heartbreaking loss to GT](https://i0.wp.com/crickettimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Shubman-Gill-Axar-Patel-and-others-console-David-Miller-following-DCs-heartbreaking-loss-to-GT-.webp?ssl=1 "IPL 2026 [WATCH]: Shubman Gill, Axar Patel and others console David Miller following DC’s heartbreaking loss to GT")
