Lord Botham Opining in the Upper House

James Nixon | 12:51pm BST 18 August 2026

Final night time I awoke from a dream – a type of that appears absolutely sensible on the time – through which Lord Botham was opining within the Higher Home. The dream was so vivid that I used to be in a position to recollect it intimately instantly afterwards.

Sir Ian Botham was making one among his rare appearances within the Home of Lords since his inauguration in October 2020. On this dream, he started by placing ahead a movement for debate that this Home believes the England and Wales Cricket Board has changed an inherent gambler with a giant gamble of their very own. This being the appointment of Mr Stephen Fleming to the place of Head Coach of the England males’s Check cricket staff.

In introducing the movement, Lord Botham noticed that Mr Fleming – while having been a positive batsman and comparatively profitable captain of the New Zealand Check staff, securing 28 wins together with 27 losses from 80 matches – has by no means coached a world staff. Not a Check staff, nor even an ODI staff. Neither, not as soon as!

There are a selection of knowledgeable observers, he informed the Home, who view Stephen Fleming as having been extremely efficient with two of the 4 T20 competitors groups he has coached, together with one within the Indian Premier League. Persevering with by saying:

Nevertheless, that doesn’t minimize it for me, I’m afraid! Perhaps I’m being myopic, however I actually can’t see a lot in widespread between T20 matches and Check cricket.

I additionally collect that Mr Fleming has by no means taught in a college. This void – not having been a schoolteacher – is of explicit relevance in respect of Kindergarten and Junior College youngsters, as I’m certain my fellow Lords will respect.

Laughter cascades from the banked rows of noble Lords.

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The Speaker of the Home (Lord Forsyth of Drumlean): I now flip this movement over to the members current for debate.

Lord Heskeith: I perceive that Mr Fleming has chatted, over drinks, with sure Check match coaches since his appointment. This spectacular checklist consists of those that have overseen squads of cricketers representing Ghana, Germany and Eire. I count on this can have been of appreciable – if not immense – worth.

Lord Dumbarton: Robert Kee and Richard Gould on the ECB are, little question, on the backside of this unlucky appointment. If I’ll introduce a Freudian interpretation, it happens to me that each these drastic under-performers have a predilection for guaranteeing that people of distinctly inferior capacity lie under themselves within the pecking order – in order that they themselves could also be seen in a shining gentle!

Lord Quinsail: An astute statement, if I’ll say so, by my good pal Lord Dumbarton.

Clapping and the noise of stamping of ft emanate from the general public gallery, lasting for absolutely one and a half minutes earlier than the Speaker restores order.

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Lord Dacre of Glanton: I wish to ask “Beefy”, as he’s affectionately identified, about his views on the current re-appointment of England’s captain.

Lord Botham: I shall preface my remarks by saying that almost all appropriate captains I performed underneath in all my first-class cricket profession have been John Michael Brearley – often known as “Brears” – in Check matches from 1977 via to 1981, who chided me and it labored; after which David Gower – that “endangered species” – in Exams from 1982 via to the top of the Eighties.

Gower realised that the kind of coaching to be completed, its frequency and length needed to be tailor-made to every particular person. For somebody resembling Phil Tufnell, a cigarette between sending down some overs within the nets was a necessary requirement. And Gower obtained as much as some amusing, innocent pranks. One in every of which being to rent a Tiger Moth biplane and buzz the play at 150 ft through the England-Queensland match at Carrara Oval, this occurring in January 1991 – killing time after his innings. Gower’s perspective to all of it being diametrically against that of the following Check captain, Graham Gooch.

Goochie’s drawback – other than obsessing about his batting approach and fiddling round with it like an apprentice feminine mechanic in a truck workshop – was a complete lack of empathy. In my thoughts, he grew to become a dictatorial psychopath.

I spot him within the guests’ gallery,

(pointing)

there…within the third row up on the far left… demonstrating his go away to a quick bowler.

To come back to the matter raised by Lord Dacre: I feel re-appointing Joe Root as captain is a backward step and fraught with hazard. That is so as a result of Root has not too long ago displayed his earlier behavior of going right into a mind fade when making bowling and fielding adjustments to confront tail-end batsmen. The outdated adage stays true: if typical deliveries and area settings are ok to dismiss the specialist batsmen, then they’re ok to dismiss tail-enders.

For some tough to fathom motive, Root appear to assume it an affront to the entire staff when a tail-ender manages to attain a number of runs from typical bowling. Then comes the knee-jerk response: intimidation with hostile short-pitched deliveries which the much less ready batsmen both fail to attach with or play streaky pictures, normally in an uncanny style touchdown in vacant areas.

Lord Kinbar of Edinburgh: Might I ask Lord Botham of his answer to this vexed query of an appropriate alternative for Mr. Stokes.

Lord Botham: I advocate the adoption of the Ryder Cup {golfing} format, with a non-playing captain deciding strategic issues earlier than play and through the intervals, whereas a captain on the sector offers with fine-tuning of techniques inside a session of play. Now the most effective particular person to be the non-playing captain is, for my part, Mike Brearley who continues to offer psychotherapy and psychoanalytical companies that maintain his thoughts so incisive.

The Speaker, nodding within the course of Lord Aldenham to talk subsequent.

Lord Aldenham: Maybe Sir James Anderson may come into consideration because the on-field captain? I do know he’s been doing sterling work as captain of Lancashire this season – a robust and inspirational chief of the staff.

Lord Botham: He could be a splendid selection, although it could require the elimination from the ECB of henchmen Robert Key and Richard Gould; and possibly additionally the Chairman, Richard Thompson, who appears joined on the hip to Gould. I don’t imply to counsel this is able to be unimaginable, however it could take one thing out of the atypical.

As an apart: I referred to Richard Thompson simply then as “Chairman” when his official title is definitely “The Chair”. I ask every of you to assume whether or not you may have heard a eating or kitchen room chair converse?

Lord Demonia of Blackpool: I dreamed one time that I used to be a wood chair and a most talkative one at that.

Lord Botham: Might I counsel you had been studying one too many Franz Kafka novels –

The Metamorphosis maybe tipping you over the sting.

Lord Demonia: Very droll…I need to say!

Lord Belhaven: Maybe you, your self Lord Botham might have a phrase with King Charles. I collect he is a superb admirer of your abilities, each on and off the sector of play.

Lord Botham: Sure…I feel King Charles may effectively be agreeable to this concept and use his constitutional powers to advise. On this occasion, to counsel to the trio talked about that they go away the ECB forthwith, accompanied with a veiled risk of a spell within the Tower of London in the event that they show cussed.

Lord Darcy de Knayth: I had a guided tour of the Tower not too long ago, and I can guarantee the noble Lords current that the torture units are all in sound working order – together with the dreaded Rack.

Cries of “splendid” …“marvellous to listen to”…“serve them proper” …emanate from the banked rows of the chamber.

Lord Fortescue: Gould for the Rack!

Lord Belhaven: And Key for the Shares. Pelt him with rotten eggs and tomatoes.

Lord Botham: I shall be joyful to take additional questions after the break for refreshments.

Trolleys are wheeled into the Chamber laden with oven-cooked turkeys and potatoes roasted in duck fats, together with heaps of Brussels sprouts.

A complete, substantial-sized, turkey is placed on a plate for Lord Botham who tucks in after eradicating the legs to be a second serving to. Two bottles of wine are positioned by his plate. One in every of these being from Château Haut-Brion – a wealthy and sophisticated mix of Sauvignon Blanc and Sémillon – the opposite a cabernet sauvignon based mostly Pauillac from the distinguished Château Latour.

Lord Botham samples the previous, swilling half a glass round his mouth and pronounces favourably on it….

Drawing on David Gower’s autobiography

The substance of this cost that Graham Gooch grew to become a “dictatorial psychopath has been mentioned at appreciable size, in print, elsewhere. Most emphatically, in quite a few dimensions, by David Gower in his candid autobiography of 2013, titled “An Endangered Species.”

As Gower and Botham have been, and nonetheless are, massive mates and understanding of Botham’s character and perspective to life, the latter would little question (in personal) largely share the previous’s views about Graham Gooch as England’s captain. And, in any occasion, in a dream views can after all be transplanted.

The which means of a dictator/dictatorship is well-known; the which means of a psychopath centres on a character sample marked by low empathy, shallow feelings, and a scarcity of regret.

The related web page references for David Gower’s guide are given under.

Center p17 – Point out of a humourless dictatorship underneath Gooch as captain of England (coming after Gower’s personal stint as captain, with a stint by Mike Gatting in between).
p18 – Gooch speaking garbage and being wholly destructive about prospects throughout a match.
Finish of p24 – Complete lack of empathy displayed on an essential matter on which Gower consulted Gooch (and regretting doing so instantly afterwards).
p16, 18/19 – An inquisition following Gower’s episode in a Tiger Moth airplane and the imposition of the utmost possible positive, this for a innocent little bit of enjoyable – with no regret in a while about having handled Gower this manner.
p129, 217/18 & 292 – An rigid mono-culture and coaching regime: treating all England gamers as having the identical wants no matter their precise variations.
p22/23 – Gooch deceptive Gower about his anticipated choice for a winter tour of India (1992/93 season). And never simply being economical with the reality, however blatantly mendacity to him.

Fortuitously, Graham Gooch remains to be residing and so Lord Botham of the dream can’t be accused of criticising somebody who’s already within the grave.