Look, I do know the thought of the longer term is horrifying and everybody’s all freaked out about AI and stuff, however it’s going to be nice, belief me. For instance, I’m sufficiently old to recollect when 1984 was speculated to appear like this:
However as an alternative it turned out like this:
And hey, you possibly can speculate that the microphone stand butt-wiping antics of David Lee Roth and his cock-rocking company rock friends have been additionally supposed to undermine unbiased thought, and that MTV mainly served the identical function as that facially-mounted rat cage thingy:
However nonetheless, it’s exhausting to carry on to a state of existential concern after that.
Although Lob is aware of we tried.
So yeah, it’s exhausting to get too fearful about stuff at this level in my life, but even I in my middle-aged complacency I discover this a bit unsettling:
And it’s not even the truth that advocates labored exhausting for generations to get bike lanes in cities throughout Canada’s Dungarees just for the tech corporations to acceptable them; it’s that apparently this explicit metropolis doesn’t have “any regulatory authority over any of those supply bots:”
“The potential for bigger bots that need to use bike lanes and journey quicker, that’s a brand new layer to this difficulty,” Heyne stated. “We don’t at present have any regulatory authority over any of those supply bots.”
Potential guidelines mentioned Monday embody a one-year pilot allow, limits on the variety of robots allowed, velocity caps, no stopping or parking in bike lanes, required brakes, hazard lights, fixed lighting, audible alerts and enter from bike advocates.
Wait, I’m sorry, what?
How can town don’t have any regulatory authority over robots within the bike lane? Like, you possibly can simply use no matter you need in there? Like a tank, or a ship, or a John Deere tractor? And is the issue that they don’t have any authority over the bike lanes, or over the robots? As a result of if the latter, meaning a robotic can do no matter it needs, together with killing individuals. So that you gained’t be capable to homicide somebody, but when your robotic does it for you then no drawback.
Scary.
Clearly the one short-term answer to the issue of robots within the bike lane is an artisanal handlebar-mounted EMP from Spurcycle with their trademark aesthetic:
I informed the AT to generate a picture of “A handlebar-mounted steampunk-style EMP machine for bicycles to neutralize meals supply robots in bike lanes.” At first the bike was additionally steam-punky and the machine was too giant. So I informed it to make the bike extra fashionable. Then I informed it to shrink the machine. As soon as once more, the AI has finished such a superb job right here that I can now not even current these photos sarcastically…although the AI did mount the machine backwards, since clearly you’d need the toggle switches to be going through the rider.
As for the video, not each rider interviewed shares my concern:
To wit:
I don’t care about ’em as a result of I experience exhausting. You realize, I cross ’em up or regardless of the case could also be…
I can respect that, although if all of us should revert to vehicular biking as a way to outrun the killer robots within the bike lane then both we’ll all want bikes with motors, or else we’ll all want high-end highway bikes like the brand new Specialised S-Works Aethos 2:
I do know I’m supposed to love the Specialised Aethos as a result of it’s a return to the back-to-basics highway bike, however that’s precisely why I don’t prefer it. See, right here’s the way it works. First you’re taking one thing good and easy, like a mountain bike:
Or a highway bike:
Then hold making it increasingly sophisticated, like this:
Or this:
However then when it seems numerous individuals actually do nonetheless need easy all-terrain bikes with out suspension you return to that solely you name it a “gravel bike,” and when they need highway bikes with spherical tubes you name it an “Aethos:”
And sure, gravel bikes are nice and I’ve little doubt the Aethos is a pleasure to experience, however I discover all of it fairly patronizing, that’s all. Plus, I particularly resent that the bike media is outwardly now utilizing the time period “system weight.” Can’t we simply say “weight?” However most of all I resent the concept that this bike is “future-proof.”
The body angles should not too totally different from these of the previous-generation Aethos. In dimension 54cm, the attain is an identical at 384m, however the stack has elevated from 544mm to 559mm. The pinnacle angle has been slackened from 73 to 72.5 levels, whereas the wheelbase has grown 14mm to 992mm. Whereas the chainstays stay at 410mm, essentially the most notable change is a rise in tyre clearance from 32mm to 35mm, primarily future-proofing the platform for years to return.
Simply as I’m certain the Aethos is a good bike, I additionally don’t have anything in any way in opposition to individuals who need the most recent and newest stuff, as a lot as I’ll make enjoyable if all of it as a coping mechanism. However the concept that any bike being made proper now’s “future-proof” is objectively laughable. Contemplate that the primary Aethos solely got here out in 2020, but with its old-timey derailleur hanger and 32mm clearance it’s apparently already dated. (To say nothing of all of the gravel bikes with sub-50mm tire clearance, that are apparently ineffective now, or the 650b wheel, which appears to have been memory-holed because the business prepares for the transfer to 32s.) So by all means, purchase the most recent Aethos, simply so long as you recognize it’s about as future-proof as the most recent iPhone.
Actually, the closest you will get to a “future-proof” bike is a very previous one the place at the least the mud has settled and you recognize what’s nonetheless out there for it and what isn’t. Contemplate the Faggin, in the event you can bear to take a look at it:
Clearly no person excited by an Aethos goes to contemplate a rusty dinged-up 40 year-old metal highway bike regardless of how a lot crabon Campy is bolted to it. Nevertheless, the bike has come this far, and in 2026 its secure to say in case you have a motorcycle like this you possibly can hold it working indefinitely. You may cram a 130mm wheel in it, you should use just about any sort of shifter you need with it (or go singlespeed due to the horizontal dropouts), and despite the fact that the rim brake is lifeless you’ll be capable to discover good used ones for at the least the following 100 years.
Hey, future-proofing could also be ugly, however that’s solely as a result of the longer term is just too.
