Glizzy Glory on Weenie Weekend

With a transparent thoughts, a full coronary heart, and an empty abdomen, I stepped out of my Crown Heights condo at 8:40 AM on Sunday. I walked over to the black Toyota RAV4, opened the door, and slid into the backseat subsequent to my buddy Anthony and his girlfriend Cristina. Instantly, Anthony gestured to the new canine costume peeking out of the tote bag between his ft. “Dude, I’m so f—— hyped,” he mentioned with a glizzy-eating grin on his face. “We had been born for this.” He then took off his jacket to disclose he was sporting the grey cotton t-shirt that I obtained him for his birthday. Throughout the chest in all caps had been the phrases: BAD DAY TO BE A GLIZZY.

The Uber driver pulled away from the curb and began down the road. We had been on our approach to Coney Island for the primary annual Sizzling Canine Jog, a race hosted by the Brooklyn Cyclones as a part of Weenie Weekend. Sizzling Canine Jog members run 4 laps across the ballpark, masking a couple of mile. Positive, that’s a brief distance for a run, however this race isn’t meant to be a feat of endurance. As an alternative, it’s a check of intestinal fortitude. After each lap, contestants need to cease and eat a scorching canine. Anthony and I had been working within the race, whereas Cristina got here to see the spectacle, cheer us on, and snicker at us if we puked.

The occasion was slated to start at 9 AM, however a couple of days earlier, we acquired an e mail telling us that we’d be working in Group 4 and will report back to the race no later than 9:40 for registration. The primary race, the Cocktail Frank Children Division, had already begun by the point we had been dropped off outdoors Maimonides Park a bit of earlier than 9:20. King Henry, the on-field emcee of the Cyclones, was saying the motion by means of a megaphone and motivating contestants with scorching canine puns. We exited the automotive to a cacophony of crowd chants, shade commentary, and Woman Gaga’s “Born This Manner.” It was then that we knew we had been on the sting of essentially the most superb day of our lives.

Upon checking in, Anthony and I had been every handed a Brooklyn Cyclones scorching canine hat, two drink vouchers for post-race beers, and a complimentary ticket to that afternoon’s recreation towards the Wilmington Blue Rocks. “Sizzling Canine” was printed on the ticket because the official value of admission. Anthony booked it to the lavatory to throw on his costume as quickly as we obtained inside, whereas I lathered on sunscreen. Cristina scouted the stands for the very best seat in the home. Naturally, she chosen the spot within the first row simply to the far aspect of the third base dugout, straight within the solar. I placed on one other coat of SPF. I feared the post-race mixture of meat sweats and UV rays would knock me out for every week.

Anthony was removed from the one one in a scorching canine costume. Actually, the concourse was a strolling shrine to sausage supremacy. We noticed scorching canine Hawaiian shirts, mustard mascots, and funky frankfurter socks. Dozens of contestants in “I Bought That Canine In Me” t-shirts assured the competitors they had been as much as the problem forward. In fact, this was Coney Island, so there have been Nathan’s jerseys so far as the attention might see. One lady had a shirt that includes Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam, with God handing Adam a scorching canine.

We took our seats simply as they had been establishing for Group 2. Close to the doorway to the sphere, stadium staff had been unloading 320 scorching canines from a transportable heating cupboard onto a cart. From there, they rolled the cart by means of the gate close to the customer’s on-deck circle and introduced it over to the 4 rectangular folding tables lined up in foul territory between the third final analysis and the dugout. Each desk was divided into 20 sections, every with a quantity that corresponded with a runner. 4 canines had been laid out at every setting. On the house plate aspect of the 4 tables was a water station, the place disposable cups had been full of water to assist get the canines down.

As soon as the unfold was prepared, Group 2 entered the sphere. The beginning line was on the warning observe behind residence plate. From there, runners would proceed clockwise alongside the warning observe — the wrong way from working the bases — till they returned to the begin to end their first lap. Then, they’d gather their cup of water, seize a glizzy from their assigned part of a desk, and gulp it down their gullet earlier than taking off for his or her subsequent lap. As a result of the order of operations was run-eat, run-eat, run-eat, run-eat, runners wouldn’t full the race till they’d consumed their fourth canine. Swallowing the last word chew was akin to crossing the end line. Simply to make certain, the lead runners wanted to open huge for King Henry to verify that that they had no extra meals of their mouth. Solely then would considered one of them be declared the winner. “All people’s a wiener on Weenie Weekend!” proclaimed King Henry, however as a result of the official first-place finisher of every group obtained to throw out a ceremonial first pitch at that afternoon’s recreation, it was nonetheless essential to officiate the race.

The Group 2 race began tight, however one runner, whose title I later discovered is Scott, began to distance himself from the pack on the second lap. As Scott chowed down on his second canine, Anthony began chanting, “Carry on munching!” A couple of individuals close by joined in. By the beginning of Lap 3, the end result of the race wasn’t unsure; Scott was manner forward, so he began pumping up the group as he ran by, leaping and waving his palms within the air.

When Scott completed his fourth canine and handed the open-mouth inspection, King Henry put a microphone in Scott’s face and requested him for his title. “My title’s Scott. I’m 36. I’m single. I’m shifting to New York in September. Come discover me after the race.”

About 10 minutes later, I discovered Scott on the concourse with two of his mates and requested if I might interview him. That was undoubtedly not the rationale he requested that individuals discover him after the race, however he was keen to speak to me anyway. He’s a senior inventive producer on the working watch firm COROS. He lives in Denver however involves New York often for races and different working occasions. The Sizzling Canine Jog was a foolish occasion stuffed with informal runners, however there have been additionally individuals like Scott who had been expert racers. He noticed the competitors instantly and got here up with a technique. “I didn’t need to exit too quick on that first lap, so I used to be sitting fourth, fifth,” he mentioned. “First scorching canine, I began dunking, and I don’t suppose different individuals had been. After which it was off to the races. I took the lead after the primary canine and simply stored it.

“You must dunk,” he continued. “I took one chew, and the bun was simply too dense. There’s simply no manner. You must dunk it. Get all of it in there. Drink some water as you chew.”

I requested him how he felt now, after working 4 laps and devouring 4 canines in about 9 minutes. “I’m fairly hungover,” he mentioned. “However I really really feel higher than I did. I feel I wanted some sodium.”

I puzzled if I might really feel the identical manner. The day earlier than was my buddy Andy’s engagement occasion, after which a gaggle of us went out to observe Sport 7 of the Western Convention Finals. Following a day and night of beer and fried meals, I awakened and remembered that actions have penalties. It was reassuring to study that another person was hair of the dogging it, too.

Scott gave me some pointers earlier than I went again to Anthony and Cristina. “Don’t exit too quick,” he mentioned. “Undoubtedly pump the group up. In case you’re profitable, put together your speech, and possibly somebody will come and fall in love with you.”

The one factor I keep in mind from the Group 3 race was that King Henry mentioned somebody had run 18 miles earlier that morning and was utilizing the Sizzling Canine Jog as his settle down. By that time, Anthony and I had been stretching and reapplying sunscreen.

Earlier than lengthy, recent canines had been being carted out and we had been lining as much as enter the sphere. As we waited, Anthony and I talked technique. He’s a quicker runner than I’m, however I’m a quicker eater, so we agreed that he would run at his common tempo as an alternative of with me, after which we’d see one another for the canines. I used to be no. 39, he was 40; our stations had been throughout from one another on the second desk. I relayed Scott’s recommendation about dunking the canines and dealing the group. Dressed as a footlong and grunting about glizzies, Anthony was already a fan favourite. We led the group in a “We Need Sizzling Canine!” chant. The gate opened quickly after and we took the sphere.

Maimonides Park is all turf aside from the pitcher’s mound and the batter’s circle, however the warning observe continues to be brown, providing a well-delineated course for the race. Trash cans lined the within perimeter of the observe, serving a distinct objective. And although I didn’t see anybody in any of the races throw up, it was comforting to know receptacles had been close by if wanted. King Henry shouted, “Go!” and we had been off.

In some unspecified time in the future in the course of the Group 3 race, Wilmington gamers had began filtering onto the sphere and into the bullpen to start warming up for that afternoon’s recreation. I didn’t acknowledge any of their faces, however as I handed the customer’s dugout and made my manner towards the left discipline nook on my first lap, I considered how a few of these guys would possibly make it to the majors in a couple of years. I used to be momentarily mortified by the notion that I might stumble upon them within the Nationals clubhouse down the road, and they might keep in mind me as one of many idiots working across the discipline in an enormous wiener hat.

The primary lap was tougher than I anticipated. The adrenaline kicked in instantly, and I attempted to maintain up with the entrance of the group. Beginner mistake. Huffing and puffing already, I fell again to a extra affordable tempo as I circled the appropriate discipline nook and shortly caught my breath. It didn’t assist that, aside from some water, a Honeycrisp apple, and a black espresso from the grocery retailer throughout the road from the ballpark, all I’d needed to eat and drink for the final 15 hours was a cheeseburger, mac and cheese bites, and Narragansetts.

I cruised into the water station and obtained my cup, then picked up my canine and went over to Anthony. I dunked my canine within the water and obtained it down in about 45 seconds. I observed bun bits floating within the cup simply as I took the final sip however pushed the considered how gross that regarded out of my thoughts. It was time for Lap 2. This one was a lot simpler as a result of I stored a steadier tempo. I flashed palms to the pitcher warming up with a soccer within the grass. He pump-faked to me within the flat after which hit the X receiver on a deep skinny put up for six.

I crushed the second canine, let loose a falsetto WHOOOOOOOP, and spiked the cup within the rubbish. Fueled up on glizzy gasoline, I felt nice as I began Lap 3. Nothing might cease me now.

The third and fourth laps glided by in a blur. I don’t know who received the race, however I keep in mind shouting, “Let’s Go!” to the Cyclones worker sporting a scorching canine costume and taking part in the keytar. Anthony and I ate the final canine collectively, and as quickly as we completed, he dropped to the turf and did the worm. I yelled, “Canine down! Canine down!”

King Henry was standing close by, so in a glizzy-induced euphoria, Anthony walked over and requested if he might give a shoutout to Cristina. The King obliged, ad-libbing a message. “Anthony desires me to say a couple of phrases for his girlfriend, Cristina. You’re his little scorching canine and he loves you very a lot!” That was extra nauseating than the race.

We exited the sphere and went again to Cristina, who was laughing at Anthony. They’ve been collectively lengthy sufficient that she’s developed an immunity to his cringe. We took our drink vouchers out of the bag and obtained two tallboys from the concession stand. Our vouchers had been solely good during the Sizzling Canine Jog, so we had one other beer briefly order. Hydration is vital.

Everybody needed to depart the ballpark by 12:30 so the stadium staff might do a fast sweep of the stands earlier than the gates reopened for the sport. We discovered a spot within the shade outdoors Nathan’s Clam Bar. The one-mile, four-dog, two-tallboy cocktail began taking its toll on us. Anthony and I had a tricky time retaining our heads up with out the assist of our palms. Cristina exacted her revenge on Anthony for King Henry’s declaration by rattling off varied boardwalk fried meals and telling him how a lot better he’d really feel after consuming them.

“I can’t even take into consideration meals proper now,” Anthony mentioned. “I really feel horrible.” I agreed, however neither of us might pinpoint any explicit ailment. We had been drained, torpid.

“Nothing hurts, however I’m in a deep discomfort,” I mentioned. “It’s bizarre. I can’t clarify it.”

“That feeling,” Cristina mentioned. “That’s the sensation of victory.”